CelebLiaison.com

Jane Kaczmarek

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:45:56 GMT

Celebrity: Jane Kaczmarek Known for: "Malcolm in the Middle" Meeting place: Interview Rating: *****

Back in the day, I worked for a website that sometimes required me to interview celebrities. Jane Kaczmarek was one of my subjects as it was Emmys time. I'm sure that some celebrity interviews are like pulling teeth but Jane could not have been easier. She gave long answers to everything and laughed a lot at some of my more goofy questions. She was impressed that my father saw her in a play in NY called "Kindertransport," which remains one of her favorite projects to this day. She called from her house and was describing where her husband (Bradley Whitford from "The West Wing," for those of you not with the program) keeps his Emmy and I just got the feeling that it was so cozy there. She too is a smalltown girl with that friendliness and sensibility.

You can read my article based on this interview below:

Oh Baby!
"Malcolm in the Middle" star Jane Kaczmarek aims to win TV's top award the same way Jennifer Aniston did last year when she beat Jane — by giving voters a baby to kiss.
By Rachel Schwartz

Emmy nominee Jane Kaczmarek of "Malcolm in the Middle" reveals exclusively to GoldDerby, “I submitted ‘Baby – Parts I and II.’” The actress, who marks her fourth consecutive nomination in the Best Actress in a Comedy Series category, found herself facing a dilemma this year when choosing her submission tape. “Every other year, it’s been obvious but this year I was lucky in that I had a couple to pick from,” she states. “If Boys Were Girls,” her first choice, is an episode in which Kaczmarek’s TV alter ego Lois imagines what life would be like if her four sons were actually daughters. It was her early pick for the submission because, “I was passive, nice…which I liked,” but some advisors felt that the choice was unwise and so she went with “Baby,” “where I’m in labor and I get to cry, which is good, and the writing is excellent.” Birth episodes enabled Lucille Ball, Helen Hunt, and Jennifer Aniston to snag Emmys, to which Kaczmarek responds, “Oh my God! I never even thought of that! I hope people don’t expect me to win now!”

Aniston actually beat Kaczmarek in last year’s hotly contested race for which Kaczmarek made an interesting submission choice. She chose “Poker,” an episode that featured Lois in the secondary storyline. “I loved it because it was totally different,” she says, picking up on the fact that Lois isn’t her typical loudmouth self in the episode.

While all of her nominations are fulfilling, this year the series was not as successful at garnering accolades as it has been in previous years. “I’m disappointed that we didn’t get nominated for Best [Comedy] Series or in Writing or Directing,” she says candidly. “We had a fabulous year and for people who watch the show regularly, it was almost up there with our second year, which was fantastic.” Her feelings touch on the strange ambiguity that voters have towards "Malcolm." While most shows are either completely embraced or completely ignored, "Malcolm" has won in Writing and Directing and been nominated in all of the major categories but has never won a series or acting Emmy. “We got a bad break from the FOX network,” Kaczmarek responds. “They moved us from 8:30 to 9. When we were on at 8:30, we were right after 'The Simpsons' and I think a lot of the voters tuned in to 'The Simpsons' and then saw us. At 9, they tune into whatever else is on…all of the HBO shows that everyone watches. We maintained the teenagers, which makes the network happy because of the demographic but we lost a lot of the voters; 9 is a terrible time for 'Malcolm.'”

One of the things that makes "Malcolm" different from a lot of other current comedies is that it is a single-camera series while most sitcoms are filmed in the four-camera format. “It’s a lot harder to film,” Kaczmarek says. “My good friend Patty [Patricia] Heaton [of "Everybody Loves Raymond" fame] works from 10-3. I have to work everyday from 6am and I never know what time I’ll finish.” However, the format does have its distinct advantages. “We can add things that are subtle. We can layer jokes…joke upon joke upon joke. The humor is more integrated because on the four-camera sitcoms, they have to stop the scenes because the audience is laughing.”

Last year’s season of "Malcolm" ended with Lois having another child, an event that coincided with the real birth of a baby for Kaczmarek and her husband Bradley Whitford of "The West Wing." The "Malcolm" baby was named Jamie to keep an air of ambiguity surrounding it’s gender and Kaczmarek reveals, “They were going to keep people guessing as long as possible but I spoke to Linwood [Boomer, the series creator] and he said now they’re going to announce it in the first or second episode.” As for whether or not the series star gets creative input, “I love the idea of Lois loving marching bands and parades. I do and her personality would fit in with the drum core. She could become a coach for the marching band. I always suggest this and they always say, ‘Yeah, yeah’.”

While Kaczmarek made the big time by landing her role on the series, she has been acting for over twenty years. She appeared in the original production of the play “Kindertransport,” starring opposite Holland Taylor. “I’m so glad your father saw me in this…I can’t believe he remembered!” she gushes enthusiastically. “That is one of my favorite things that I’ve ever done!” The play tells the story of children who were sent to Auschwitz without their parents during World War II. “It’s something I’d never do again now that I have children…” She pauses dramatically, unsure of how to specify how emotional this part would be now that she has her own kids. “I’d pick stage [over television] in a heartbeat,” she responds. “It’s all about storytelling. In television, it’s all shot out of sequence. For example, in “Baby,” the baby could have been born already and then in the next scene, I have to be in labor.” She does cite the hours of Broadway theatre as a reason she wouldn’t be willing to return to New York just yet as the nighttime regimen would keep her away from the children.

The Whitford household is brimming with youth, as is the set of Malcolm, which features three youngsters in the ensemble. “Oh my God, I can’t even tell you!” she begins as she prepares to describe working on a set with so many youngsters. “The children have limits [on how long they can be working]. They each have onset tutors because they have to be in school for three hours and they can be on camera for five hours. That’s good because we have to move fast. It’s bad because they hire camera doubles for the children, which are adults who are little people who can be on camera for longer hours so after the kids leave, I still have to film with the camera doubles. I’ll see the kids playing ball outside and sometimes…if they’re playing ball, they can work a little more sometimes! It makes me appreciate working with Bryan Cranston and David Wiggins, who plays Craig.” Despite the success of the show, “I’m not a big fan of kids being in show business. Brad and I talk about it a lot…they miss out on being a normal kid, which is so important.”

The Whitford-Kaczmarek marriage is eleven years strong. Both were relative unknowns when they were set up on a blind date by Kate Burton (Richard Burton’s daughter and Kaczmarek’s Yale roommate) in 1990. Two years later they were married. In a weird twist of fate that could only happen in Hollywood, both landed their successful series’ in the same year. “A day does not go by when we don’t say, ‘Oh my God, we are so lucky’!” she says. However, they struggled for years before making it in the big time. “We experienced success late in life so we know how hard it is to get there. We save a lot of money. We live in the same house we lived in before we got the shows. There are a lot of messed up people in this industry. We also know that it’s going to end. We just have a lot of money saved. I’m a girl from Wisconsin.”

Every struggling actress has role models and Jane Kaczmarek is no exception. “I love Meryl Streep!” she declares, laughing because she realizes that it is perceived as horribly cliché. “I did a movie with her when I was very young. She went out of her way to be nice. We’d watch the daily reels and she’d discuss them with me. It was right after "Sophie’s Choice" came out and I didn’t know that she would be so encouraging. She was so nice. I decided that if I ever became famous, I would always remain nice to people. In this business, that’s even more important that being a good actress. There are so many people who come onto the set and they’re afraid…guest stars. You need to be nice. I also love Angelina Jolie. I think she is just fabulous. I love Jennifer Garner and I love Keri Russell, who was Felicity. They’re not really my role models because they’re too young and too thin.”

Has the girl from Wisconsin even allowed herself to think about what would happen if she won? “People always say that it’s an honor just to be nominated and it is. I can’t believe that enough people circle my name…that enough people know me and like me enough to circle my name. I…” she pauses, searching for the right words. “This is a hard question!” she intercepts. “I…can’t even imagine myself being that lucky! Everyday I wake up and it’s like winning the lottery with the stable job, the healthy kids, and a husband who adores me. To win would be even luckier than I could ever imagine.” She could win, however. Would she pull a Catherine Zeta-Jones and insist that hers be a little farther forward than the hubby’s? “Actually, I’m in my den looking at it right now,” she says, laughing at the implication. “Behind it is a picture; Martin [Sheen] is in it. There’s an elephant that our child made…things that are important to him. My husband’s won a lot of awards but I’m glad the Emmy is in a place with things that are important to him.”

What shows are watched in the Whitford household? “We don’t watch that much TV. The kids watch videos. I love 'The West Wing.' I just think it’s phenomenal. I’d say that even if Brad weren’t on it. I watch 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and our new favorite is 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy,' which is brilliant. We work in a business, and you probably do too, where a lot of people are gay. This show is brilliant because it helps people get used to the idea of gay people in the community. When the kids go to bed and Brad and I have some time alone, we drink a glass of wine and TiVo 'Will and Grace,' 'Meet the Press' because we’re obsessed with politics, and 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.'” This seems like the perfect opportunity to find out if all of those rumors about Kaczmarek voting thirty-six times for Kelly Clarkson to win the first season of "American Idol" are actually true. She laughs loudly before proclaiming, “I love Kelly Clarkson! I love that girl! I actually got to meet her when there were four or five of them left. She signed my press pass. I met Kelly Clarkson before she was the American Idol, when she just a girl with a great voice. I loved the first season of 'American Idol' because it was so under the radar. The second season was disappointing. It became slick. They kept encouraging stuff like talking back to the judges that wasn’t about singing. I still watched it but it was disappointing.”

One burning question that could not be left unanswered surfaced at the end of our interview. When Kaczmarek was nominated for the AFI Award, the announcer stated that she plays Lois Wilkerson on "Malcolm in the Middle." “I can’t believe you remembered that!” she shouts. “That somehow got on a press release but no, that’s made up. They don’t have a last name. They’re supposed to be from anywhere although that accent that Cloris Leachman uses implies that Lois is from somewhere Eastern European. “There’s a role model!” proclaims Kaczmarek about Leachman. “I grew up with her on 'The Mary Tyler Moore Show.' I still remember the opening credits to 'Phyllis.' I was flattered beyond belief that they wanted her to play my mother.” Just when I thought that this actress might not be all that savvy on the inner workings on the awards world, she adds, “She has more Emmys than any other person. She didn’t win them for all one role. She won them for a variety of different roles. She has an Academy Award. She has a BAFTA. She’s a national treasure.”

Kaczmarek may have a golden girl of her own come September, which leaves one important question to be asked. “I’m not sure,” she begins, pondering the all-important fashion emergency. “I’m not a size two off the rack. I have my famous girdle that I never go to an awards show without. I just had a baby eight months ago so…plus, I’m still nursing which makes me a little bustier than usual.” I commented that this could be a good thing when facing Joan and Melissa Rivers and Kaczmarek agreed but, “then you have to worry about pumping. If they’re too big, the dress won’t fit right. You have to pump at least once.”

Eddie Izzard

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:42:15 GMT

Celebrity: Eddie Izzard Known for: "Cake...or death?" Meeting place: "A Day in the Death of Joe Egg" stagedoor Rating: ****

Really, who is funnier than Eddie Izzard? Pretty much no one. Seeing him perform so brilliantly in a dramatic piece was a treat and seeing him react so warmly to his fans was just as enchanting. He knows that he is forever known as a comedian and he embraces all of the people who come with DVDs to be signed. He's funny and warm and funny. Cake or death?

Jennifer Hudson

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:40:04 GMT

Celebrity: Jennifer Hudson Known for: "American Idol" season 3 Meeting place: "Letterman" Rating: ***

I was there for someone else so seeing Jennifer Hudson was a surprise and also, as a Latoya London fan, not someone that I gave a crap about. She seemed surprised to have a few fans there and she did accept their flowers and well-wishes. One guy was really creeping me out and I think he rightfully creeped her out a little bit too. She just seems as cold and as lacking in personality as she did on "AI."

Jill Hennessy

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:37:50 GMT

Celebrity: Jill Hennessy Known for: "Law and Order," "Crossing Jordan" Meeting place: "Troy" premiere" Rating: *

The randomness of the celebrities showing up to the "Troy" premiere would make and interesting story in and of itself but, for whatever reasons, Jill Hennessy was there and she seemed to be hitting it off with Eva Mendes. The two were headed for the ladies room when some fan asked her for a picture or something (rude!) so, of course, she declined. However, later, at the door for the party where the press was staked out for photographs and she had to be expected to be noticed, another unsuspecting fan asked her kindly for an autograph and she said that she doesn't sign autographs.

I've heard people say that she looks a lot like Catherine Zeta-Jones but I think that Catherine Zeta-Jones is prettier.

Jessica Hecht

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:34:39 GMT

Celebrity: Jessica Hecht Known for: "Friends," Broadway's "Julius Caesar" and "Stop Kiss" Meeting place: Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS Flea Market Rating: ****

No matter how much quality theatre work this actress does, everyone always remembers her as Susan, Ross's ex-wife's lesbian lover, on "Friends." I am no exception to the rule. She was called over to the photo booth just as I was about to get her signature so I waited around until I could get my photo of her with David Schwimmer signed. The security guard was pushing me around but she came over anyway and signed the picture. The guard tried to usher me away but she talked about the photo and thanked me for coming.

Valerie Harper

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:30:58 GMT

Celebrity: Valerie Harper Known for: "The Mary Tyler Moore Show," "Rhoda" Meeting place: Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS Flea Market Rating: ****

Few television stars come with more of a resume than Valerie Harper, whose years as Rhoda Morganstern both on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and on her spinoff have made her a classic TV veteran. I was so excited to meet her and I brought a black and photo of her with Mary Tyler Moore and Cloris Leachman. She remarked on how great the photo was and talked a lot about how excited she was to be beginning the national tour of "Golda's Balcony." It was great to see her looking happy and excited about her upcoming projects but also very complimentary of people who remembered her from her earlier work.

Jeff Goldblum

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:27:34 GMT

Celebrity: Jeff Goldblum Known for: "Jurassic Park," "Independence Day" Meeting place: "The Pillowman" stagedoor Rating: ****

When my Oklahoman friend Shawn was in NY for a few days, the last thing we needed to do to complete his tour was meet a real live celebrity. While strolling down the street minding our own business, we heard the distinct screams coming from a nearby stagedoor. Due to our location, we narrowed it down to either Christina Applegate at the "Sweet Charity" exit or Jeff Goldblum and/or Billy Crudup at the "Pillowman" stagedoor. Goldblum it was. Despite having done two shows that day, he stayed until every last fan got their picture or their autograph and I'm sure he noticed the stragglers walking by just to take photos with him even though they hadn't seen the show.

Melissa George

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:23:36 GMT

Celebrity: Melissa George Known for: "Alias," "Thieves" Meeting place: "Troy" premiere Rating: ***

While hanging out in lobby of the "Troy" premiere keeping my eyes peeled for celebrities, I stumbled upon an attractive blonde woman whom I recognized but I wasn't sure from where. She looked like a soap star perhaps - generically pretty but not exotic. I asked her if she was a soap star but she nodded negatively. I thought perhaps she was a supermodel but then she opened her mouth to talk and as soon as I heard the Australian accent, I knew that it was Melissa George from "Alias." I have to say that I'm not a fan (she got to act opposite John Stamos in "Thieves" and that's not cool by me) but I didn't let it show. She seemed very aloof. Nice enough girl but sort of spacy.

Sutton Foster

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:19:32 GMT

Celebrity: Sutton Foster Known for: "Thoroughly Modern Millie," "Little Women" Meeting place: Concert at Lincoln Center, "Little Women" stagedoor Rating: *****

Sutton Foster, with her relatively fast rise of Broadway fame, still has that smalltown charm that has made her so appealing as Millie and as Jo March. She also has a very devoted fanbase who flock to see her shows multiple times and she's nice to them everytime, signing playbills and taking photographs. I met her the very first time when she was in the ensemble (playing, of course, a whore) of "Les Miserables." She hadn't had her big break yet. When I met her several years later, at a solo concert she did at Lincoln Center, her attitude was still the same and she was as charming as ever.

Edie Falco

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:13:19 GMT

Celebrity: Edie Falco Known for: "The Sopranos," "Sunshine State," Broadway's "'night, mother" and "Side Man" Meeting place: Broadway Barks Rating: *****

Edie1

Edie Falco and your loyal webmistress

There are not many performers that I hold in as high esteem as I do Edie Falco. She gives perhaps the best dramatic television performance in history in the episode of "The Sopranos" where she and Tony finally split up. She is also very supportive of theatre and is a big animal lover.

Broadway Barks is an event held in Shubert Alley every year. Local animal shelters come to show off pets and celebrity presenters bring some selected dogs up onstage in order to try to get people to adopt them. Bernadette Peters and Mary Tyler Moore host. It's a big to-do. A couple of years ago, my brother was a volunteer at our local animal shelter so while he was wrangling dogs backstage, I just got to hang out in a room of celebrities with no other fans there. At first, my brother and I were in the alley where dogs were being kept before they were brought onto the stage. I figured we'd be stuck back there but I was bummed because I knew that Edie Falco was going to be there. Lo and behold, the only celebrity who came down the alley and pet every dog individually was Carmela Soprano herself. She showered all of the dogs with attention. She gladly took a picture with me and signed a photo of her that I'd brought. We had a brief discussion about the Emmys.

A little bit later on, I wandered down the alley and figured out that it led to the backstage area. I was perusing the premises when I stumbled upon Ms. Falco again. Exhausted from partying the day before at Jamie-Lynn Sigler's wedding, she still stood around and talked to everyone (canine or other) there. The stagehand said that she is the nicest person he's ever worked with.

A class act.

Bobbie Eakes

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 19:00:04 GMT

Celebrity: Bobbie Eakes Known for: "One Life to Live," "All My Children" Meeting place: Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS Flea Market Rating: ****

Bobbie is an absolute sweetheart. I am not all that knowledgable of the soap industry but I do know that she used to play Macy on "OLTL." She also is very supportive of the theatre community, AIDS research, and has dreamed of doing musical theatre her entire life. She signed autographs and pictures for everyone and was very conversational, unlike some others who frequent the BC/EFA events. She's very pretty up close too.

Christine Ebersole

Sat, 16 Jul 2005 18:40:55 GMT

Celebrity: Christine Ebersole Known for: "42nd St," "Steel Magnolias" Meeting place: Broadway Barks, Megan Mullally concert Rating: **

She has kind of an attitude for someone whose fame doesn't measure up anywhere outside of NYC. At Broadway Barks, I was backstage since my brother was working the event, and she asked me to check the stagedoor and make sure no more fans were left there since she didn't want to be bothered. I guess she is friends with Megan Mullally since she guest-starred on "Will and Grace" and was at her concert. She came out of Megan's dressing room and I yelled her name and told her she was awesome and she only barely acknowledged me and smiled. I guess I ruined her anonymity.

Sat, 16 Jul 2005 18:40:13 GMT

Celebrity: Linda Eder Known for: Recording artist, "Jekyll and Hyde" Meeting place: Concerts galore Rating: *****

Linda1

Nobody does it beder than Linda Eder.

No recording artist out there is nicer to her fans than Linda Eder. She has a cult fanbase both from her albums as well as from "Jekyll and Hyde." At every concert, she won't head home until every fan gets a picture, an autograph, and to talk to her for a brief moment. It's as simple as that.

Christine Ebersole

Sat, 16 Jul 2005 18:30:23 GMT

Elvis Costello

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 18:38:33 GMT

Celebrity: Elvis Costello Known for: Music Meeting place: "David Letterman" stagedoor Rating: *

Yeah, so I wasn't even at "Letterman" to see his sorry ass. I wanted to get my photograph with Julianne Moore signed and she was there that night promoting the classic and underrated motion picture "The Laws of Attraction." In fact, he was not even a guest that night. Diana Krall, his wife, was guesting so he was there with her. There was a light drizzle outside - nothing out of "The Day After Tomorrow" - and Elvis and Diana come out sharing an umbrella and completely ignore everyone. A few fans were there for Diana and everyone was surprised to see Elvis there and some people starting saying things like, "Elvis, I love your music!" Not even acknowledgement. Not a thank you for coming, an explanation for not stopping, nothing. They went straight to the car waiting for them and drove off.

Patricia Clarkson

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 18:32:41 GMT

Celebrity: Patricia Clarkson Known for: "Six Feet Under," "Far From Heaven," "Pieces of April" Meeting place: Oscar party thrown by Julianne Moore Rating: *****

Patty1

The Oscar nominee at the party in her honor.

Back in the day, I worked for a website run by someone who wrote books about show business awards. He mentioned that he'd been invited for a party being thrown by Julianne Moore in honor of her "Far From Heaven" co-star Patricia Clarkson getting an Oscar nomination for her performance in "Pieces of April." I begged and begged and he finally surprised me by agreeing to take me as his guest. I skipped a day of work and college classes to take a four hour bus ride to NY for the event. Not to mention that I spent $80 purchasing the only dress I've ever bought from Saks Fifth Avenue as well as getting my hair done.

Being as she was the guest of honor at a party, I wasn't sure how willing she would be to take pictures. She couldn't have possibly been more gracious. I told her that I was here on behalf on the website and was wondering if I could get a photo with her and she was very cordial. I told her that I enjoyed her work, especially in "Far From Heaven." My boss hawked his book and reminded her to read the section on how "Far From Heaven" has won more Indie Spirit Awards than any other movie, to which she quipped, "Does it explain how everyone won for that movie except me?" Rollicking laughter from everyone in earshot. She is so happy to be working in films and projects that she believes in and it shows. This picture does her no justice as that black dress was accented by a pair of fire engine red stiletto heels. Yeowsa. For those into gossip (and, really, who isn't?), her boyfriend is Campbell Scott.

Kristin Chenoweth

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 16:58:20 GMT

Celebrity: Kristin Chenoweth Known for: "Wicked," "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown," "The West Wing" Meeting place: "Wicked" Rating: ****

Kristin1

We're the same size!

Kristin2

Kristin sportin' Elphie's green and not Galinda's pink.

Now, let me preface by saying that Kristin Chenoweth was one of the people I had heard negative reports of beforehand. The immense popularity of "Wicked" had gotten to both Kristin and Idina Menzel and apparently they weren't coming out between matinees, weren't signing, etc. I went on a Saturday matinee and had no trouble with her whatsoever. We actually say her before the show when she was going into the stagedoor to get ready. She came walking down the street with her adorable dog Maddie (named after her idol, Madeline Kahn) and signed or take pictures with everyone who asked. She was wearing a green skirt even though green is Idina's trademark color in the show. Idina walked into the stagedoor, apologized to all the fans, but said that it takes over and hour to get in the make-up each day.

After the show, Kristin came out the stagedoor (no front door exit or anything I had heard) with some friends who I think were from her homestate of Oklahoma. She did sign for people. I don't know if she paused for pictures but he saw her head to Cosi, a restaurant right on the street where "Wicked" is playing. We decided to go there too and spent our dinner time trying to gawk inconspicuously. She ordered a caesar salad. Her laugh is infectious and you could hear it throughout the whole restaurant. We wrote her a little note on a napkin saying how much we loved her performance and asked our waitress to deliver it to her. We peeked at her reading it and she smiled and told her friends, "Aw, those girls over there wrote me a note." We didn't get a response but it was great to be acknowledged. She's quite the celebrity in NYC. We were seated right by the door and could hear people whisper, "Isn't that Kristin Chenoweth?" as they were walking in.

Andrea Bowen

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 16:31:42 GMT

Celebrity: Andrea Bowen Known for: Teri Hatcher's daughter on "Desperate Housewives," "The Sound of Music," "Les Miserables," "Jane Eyre" Meeting place: "The Sound of Music" Rating: ****

Before she hit the big time as Julie Mayer on ABC's ubiquitous "Desperate Housewives," Andrea Bowen was known primarily as the youngest child in the famed Bowen family, a clan truly living the American dream. All of the Bowen siblings found their ways into Broadway and national touring companies of musicals. Andrea herself made her Broadway debut playing Young Cosette in "Les Miserables" and then went on to originate the roles of Marta and Adele in "The Sound of Music" revival and "Jane Eyre," respectively. Through someone I know who was also in "The Sound of Music" cast at the time, I found myself eating dinner with six von Trapp children between a matinee and evening performance one day. She's just a regular kid who really likes theatre. Her newfound success is well-deserved and a long time coming, considering she's been on Broadway since she was about seven years old.

Orson Bean

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 04:56:44 GMT

Celebrity: Orson Bean Known for: 1950s talk shows, "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" Meeting place: Jane Seymour Star Week Rating: ***

He's a great guy and he's married to Alley Mills, the mother from "The Wonder Years." He signed autographs for all. The gruff curmudgeon character with a heart of gold underneath that he portrayed on "Dr. Quinn" doesn't appear to be very off base.

Barbara Babcock

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 04:21:26 GMT

Celebrity: Barbara Babcock Known for: "Hill Street Blues," "Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman" Meeting place: Jane Seymour Star Week Rating: ****

When Jane Seymour received her star on the Walk of Fame, I spent four days partying it up with her and one of the events was a BBQ on the set of "Dr. Quinn" with most of her co-stars. I can't say anything mean or discouraging about any of them as they were all gracious to the 100+ fans there and giving of their time even as the temperature got close to 100 degrees. In the interest of separating the celebrities who were above average from those who offered life-changing experiences, I haven't given the entire cast ***** but I could definitely do it. Barbara Babcock showed up rarin' to go in a cowboy hot. There were very specific rules about waiting in lines to get things signed at autograph tables that were set up. She was more than happy to bend the rules and take pictures and sign autographs for anyone and everyone. Everyone there was a fan, after all, and I can't imagine giving off that much positive energy for hours and hours in the scorching heat. She has a very soothing presence and it's easy to see why she has been so successful in television.

Hank Azaria

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 03:54:42 GMT

Celebrity: Hank Azaria Known for: "The Simpsons," "The Birdcage," "Spamalot" Meeting place: Theatre World Awards Rating: *****

Hank1

The loyal liaison and her main charge.

Every year the Theatre World Awards present its highest honor to 15 stars of Broadway and off-Broadway who have made indeliable impressions in their debut performances. The organization prides itself in spotting young up-and-comers who go to achieve great success in the industry. This year, the powers that be decided that some volunteers were needed to latch onto the winners and presenters to make them feel comfortable. I saw an ad on a Broadway list I subscribe to and thus began my journey as a celebrity liaison. This year's most well-known winner was Christina Applegate and while everyone was fighting tooth and nail over being her personal assistant for the day, I was handed Hank Azaria by sheer luck. Applegate ended up bailing due to illness, making me the envy of everyone in the room. I was also assigned to Tyler Maynard of "Altar Boyz" but, needless to say, he got pushed on the backburner.

It was honestly an easy and stress-free experience. I'd heard only good things about him coming into the event and he certainly lived up to my expectations. I offered him all the help I was authorized to give (bottled water, coffee, etc.) and he thanked me for being so sweet and then demanded that I bring him a Jack and coke. I asked him if he liked his ice cubed or crushed and which direction I could stir in. Once he realized I had a sense of humor, we had a great time. He wanted to sit next to his "Spamalot" co-star Michael McGrath instead of his assigned seat so I simply moved him over. No muss, no fuss. At the end of the ceremony, I went back to where he was sitting to escort him outside and he remembered my name and followed me along. He took pictures not only with some other liaisons but also with members of the press! I told him that he owed me a picture since I'd been his liaison the whole day and he happily obliged, playing along when I told him it was impossible for me to get "Spamalot" tickets. I told him that I'd been consciously stopping myself from calling him Agador Spartacus all day and he said, in his best Agador accent, "Thank you for being here for me." Awwwwww. An absolute class act.

Jennifer Aniston

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 00:29:53 GMT

Celebrity: Jennifer Aniston Known for: "Friends," "The Good Girl," awesome hair, the soon-to-be ex-Mrs. Pitt Meeting place: NY premiere of "Troy" Rating: *****

Jen1

The royal couple arrive in style.

Jen2

She signs autographs for her loyal fans.

People reading this story should beware of the fact that I am absolutely obsessed with Jennifer Aniston. She was Rachel on "Friends," I'm Rachel in real-life...we're soul sisters. When I found out that "Troy" would be premiering in NYC at 7:30pm, I arrived at the Ziegfield Theatre at about 3:30pm and waited around in the heat for five hours. At first, we were standing just a few feet away from the red carpet behind this barricade but they moved us across the street. They blocked the whole street off with a large gate but I got my spot directly across the street from the limo drop off. In a really bizarre coincidence, of an entire street full of people (there were thousands), I somehow ended up next to three girls who remembered me from when I tried to see Jen on "Letterman" and the two people I'd met at "Letterman" the previous week when I saw Megan Mullally and Julianne Moore. I made friends with the gay boy next to me who was crushed that Orlando Bloom couldn't make it. We really did have prime spots but they didn't close off the street so everytime a truck or SUV would stop at the red light, people would yell (ah, NYers), "Get the fuck out of my way!" We saw a bunch of celebrities going in (Jeff Probst, Billy Bush, Jann Carl, etc.) but the stars of the movie all exited on the street side so they could come across and sign. Eric Bana was really nice but his security led him away onto the red carpet before he signed for everyone. He stayed for awhile though.

As soon as the biggest limo pulled up, everyone braced themselves for the onslaught. The royal couple had arrived. Brad looked hot, hot, hot in a black suit and Jen was wearing a long black dress and heels. Brad went to the middle of the crowd to sign but Jen was sort of standing back with her guards letting Brad have the spotlight. I could totally see her from where I was so I just yelled, "Jennifer! Jennifer! Can you sign this?" and she came right over. I own a t-shirt that she wore in "The Good Girl" but I didn't risk taking it out in such a big crowd so she signed the cover of Vogue magazine in silver Sharpie. She signed a few more things near my section but that was about it. She smelled really nice. I asked her if I could have a pic with her and she smiled (probably because she couldn't hear anything) and she was kind of standing near enough for me to fake that we were standing together but the girl next to me was too freaked out to figure out how to use a camera. Everyone was telling her how much they love her (I, of course, could not articulate anything) and she said, "Thanks, I love you too, sweeties!" This was the Monday right after "Friends" ended so the nation was in a mourning period and the crowd seemed very touched by her response to our comments on how much we loved "Friends," how sad we were that it was over, etc.

They left to walk onto the red carpet and meet the press and stuff and I was just trying to calm down when a guy from the theatre came by and handed out free tickets to the screening to the crowd. I didn't get one but a girl who did get one couldn't use it so she gave it to me, saying she heard that Brad and Jen weren't staying for the movie since they'd seen it already. I took my chances. On the red carpet, there was this whole row of "Troy" posters for the celebs to pose in front of and we had to walk on the carpet behind that row to get into the movie. We walked directly behind Brad and Jen posing for the cameras. Once we got through the most insane security check ever, we got into the movie. I had no idea who was in the audience with me but everytime Brad won a fight sequence, people cheered, and the women (and gay men) all whooped at all the nudity. The movie was sucking major asshole though.

About an hour in, I really had to pee (I had been standing outside for hours) so I went to the lobby and the people from "Letterman" were sitting in the lobby. No one could get in without a ticket so I asked why they weren't seeing the movie. They said that you can see a movie anyday but all the stars were in there watching and the best way to catch them was when there were no crowds. I got the rest of my stuff, went into the nicest ladies room ever (gold-plated faucets on each individual sink in each stall), and waited around the lobby. A raucous started to happen because Jennifer was in the hall asking where the VIP bathroom was. I wouldn't ever be as rude as to interrupt someone then so I just stared at her back. She went back in to see the movie and the security guard came over to us and made us promise no pictures and no autographs. We figured that if we asked specifically for a picture with anyone, it wouldn't be a violation of privacy. We weren't going to be paparazzi and snap pictures of Jennifer Aniston going into a bathroom. That's not cool. We saw Eva Mendes and Jill Hennessy come out talking and waiting in line for the regular bathroom (VIP was for Jen and Brad only, apparently) but neither were very willing to do anything. They wanted to go in and see the rest of the movie. I was kind of off the sidelines at this point because, honestly, anyone other than the holy 2 was a disappointment to me so I didn't care. I don't watch "Crossing Jordan." Peter O'Toole came really late and just sat around the lobby for like an hour but he didn't seem to want to have anything to do with us.

At this point, someone revealed that they'd gotten a party invitation. He wanted to take the friend he came with but she couldn't go because of her attire. I was in jeans, a tank top, and flip flops too but I told him that I'd run to a store and buy a dress and shoes. I suddenly realized the time though and everything was closed. I don't know how this idea dawned on me but I called my best friend, who I love so, so, so much, and I told her I'd pay her $20 if she could bring a dress and a pair of shoes to the Ziegfeld in the next half hour. We wear the same sizes. Sure enough, she thought I was crazy but was game. I was going to the party! While I was on the phone explaining this all to a friend, this woman walked by and we could tell she was an actress. She was the generically pretty type - blonde, thin, nice dress - so someone asked her if she's on soaps. She responded negatively and said her name was Melissa. As soon as I heard the accent, I realized who it was. I asked if she was from "Alias" and she said yes. We then saw Sofia Milos, who is apparently on "CSI: Miami" but we all recognized her as Aurora from "TOW the Butt." Jen came out to the VIP room again (I stared) and Brad and Jen exited through the secret exit at the point so no one got near them. I was on the phone again in the corner somewhere and when I got off, the security guard said I had to leave because one of my friends asked Peter O'Toole for an autograph. They escorted us out through the back exit (the front was closed due to paparazzi) but this was just as the movie ended so all the celebs were leaving this way too. Some punishment. I was standing around with Jill Hennessy, Brian Cox (in a kilt), Ashley Olsen, etc.

My friend arrived just then with my fancy clothes so we made a pact to change and meet over at the party. Since I'd been kicked out of the Ziegfeld (ha!), I had to find a place to change. I went into the bathroom at the Hilton and it was really like a scene in a movie. I went in wearing jeans and came out in a black dress and shoes. I took a cab over to the party but the person with the tickets wasn't there yet. We waited around behind a barricade again. The guy with the tickets finally arrived and we went up the stairs, bypassing security and looking like we belonged, but they stopped us because we apparently only had an invitation. You needed actual tickets to get in. I was kind of bummed because, really, if I could maneuver myself into a Brad and Jennifer party with no connections, I'm queen of the world, but we did pretty damn good. The security seemed pretty lax and we ended up hanging out sort of near the media pit so we were really close. Sofia Milos came out. Spike Lee went and hailed a cab. Anne Heche came in really late because of her Broadway show. We saw Bono for a split second but they whisked him away like nobody's business. I had to leave because of my curfew and I knew they weren't going to stop to take pictures with the whole crowd after such a long day. Brad has been known to sign things for hours but Jen is much more nervous. Some people I was with had found out what hotel they were staying at and were going to try to catch them there but I thought that was really rude and an invasion of privacy. It's one thing to ask for a picture at a public event. I figured I'd let them unwind from their hectic day by having sex in peace. Awwwwww, if I only knew.

I had seen Jen outside "Letterman" just a few months earlier promoting "Along Came Polly" and I can honestly see why fame sometimes frustrates her. She came out to sign autographs but was whisked into her car by her assistant/manager/agent due to the size of the crowd. She rolled down the window, smiled, thanked people for coming, and waved, and then as the limo tried to drive off, the paparazzi still jumped on the hood of her car. She seemed shy and reserved but genuinely touched by the attention she received at a premiere for a movie that wasn't hers. She seemed hesitant to hog the spotlight from the hubby but very in tune with what the fans were looking for. Great experience.

Frequently Asked Questions

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 03:22:02 GMT

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Have you really met all of these people?
Yes. Everything in here is true. If I didn't speak to them firsthand, I was there when various actions happened to other fans.

2. What is your all-time favorite experience?
It's too hard to pinpoint one. I spent four days in LA with Jane Seymour, went to an Oscar nominations party thrown by Julianne Moore, and have been spit on by bitter Eric McCormack fans at the stagedoor of "The Music Man." A lot of them have special meanings to me and, of course, everytime I see Andrea McArdle is special because "Annie" made me learn to love musical theatre and entertainment and writing and the way she has opened her heart to us is extraordinary.

3. Who do you really want to meet that you haven't yet?
Well, I really want to get a picture with Jennifer Aniston and I want her to sign the "Good Girl" t-shirt I have from eBay that was worn by her in the film. People I'd love to meet for the first time include Idina Menzel, Brad Pitt, Hilary Swank, Celine Dion, and Kelly Clarkson.

4. How do you do it?
It's a God-given talent, really. With NYC as your playground, anything is possible. A lot of actors do Broadway plays and it becomes possible to meet them at the stagedoor. I actually have terrible luck with running into celebrities randomly on the street (it's never happened) so my meetings are almost always deliberate. In terms of getting the attention of someone big, it sometimes help if you bring an item along with you that's rare. For instance, a friend of mine had the book of "Far and Away" with her when we met Nicole Kidman and that made her talk about filming that picture. (Of course, I wouldn't recommend that particular item now that she's divorced from Tom Cruise but you get the idea.) If you don't have memoribilia, compliment them on something specific. If all else fails, crying works. Think of dead puppies.

5. Why don't you just get a life?
Pot calling the kettle black, assface - if you had a life, you wouldn't be reading an online blog.

6. Are you worried about what celebrities will say if they find this site?
I'm not naive enough to believe that celebrities even google themselves, would find themselves here, and would care about what some post-adolescent fangirl thinks. I would hope that if it did happen and I personally had a negative experience with someone that it would make them realize that their actions do influence their fans. Pretty much everyone listed here can buy me and sell me as I have no real job and no real money so for them to pick a fight with me would be pretty petty. Plus, I'm 4'11" so it wouldn't even be a fair fight unless I got some stilts.

7. Have you heard horror stories about some celebrities?
Absolutely. I have met a lot of very nice people who have gone above and beyond the call of duty but a select few of the people that I've met have been nightmares. There are some celebrities that seem to have horrible reputations from everyone I have ever talked to them about - Meg Ryan and Cameron Diaz come to mind - but if I haven't had a personal experience with them, they are not listed here. There are some other fantastic sites (www.bitterwaitress.com is one) that describe one-on-one celebrity experiences that other people have had. There's a hilarious story on there about drunken Nicole Kidman knocking over a fishtank.

8. Why is this site called celebliaison.com?
My parents and a lot of my friends call me a stalker but, having heard stories from people who legitimately have had stalkers, I'm opposed to that word. I don't follow people home, approach them in Victoria's Secret, or stowaway in the tour bus. Liaison seemed like a nicer word for someone who has experiences with celebrities in a not dangerous way.